So in honor of Iris turning 3 this past week I figure I should dedicate a blog to the fact that I somehow survived 27 years without her necessary advice. Here is a list of advice she has given me....and to really drive the point home she typically starts her "advice" with the statement "Mom, come here, we gotta talk!" I will then follow up with a quick and witty comeback that loses all humor with 3 year old (she has NO IDEA how much of a riot I am!)
"Mom, we gotta talk...."
In the car:
- drive and hold on with both hands!
*Who are you? Driving school? Last I checked I am driving and you didn't even take the classes!
- stop singing!
*Um, I LOVE this song and I have an amazing car voice! If we turn the radio up you won't be able to hear me!
- turn this song louder!
* Right on!
- I don't like this song!
*(under my breath) I do! (as I change the station)
At home:
- can we eat gum for dinner?
*Not exactly, but its all chewing so you can pretend that dinner is gum!
- can we read 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 books before bed?
*Um, I definitely blocked out your voice after 2 and by arguing with me I may drop that to 1....keep pushing it lady!
-let's go get ice cream
*Get your shoes on!
So I feel like the "We gotta talk" has lost some of its significance.. I'm not exactly how I am going to address serious talks in the future if Iris is using the "We gotta talk" line on issues of limited importance (gum for dinner?!). I think I may be developing my own way to make her know that she is in for a serious talk! "Iris, here is the agenda for our conversation....Topics include, How was your day? What do you want for dinner? and The negative effects of peer pressure and early drinking on young teenage girls. Any questions?" Or perhaps, "How was your day? Oh BTW (yeah I will totally use text talk to enhance the importance of the message), do you know about HPV?!" or "What up? (gangsta mommy!) and can you explain this C in English to me because I am having a difficult time understanding average grades in a class you have been studying SINCE YOU WERE BORN!" I am trying to picture how these will go and am pretty sure I have this whole parenting thing figured out, but if you have any better ideas....We gotta talk!
