So I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before or not (and quite honestly I am too lazy to re-read my previous blogs to see what I have already said. It makes reading this like talking to me in person, I suppose, in that I tell and re-tell stories and ramble incoherently, forget what I am talking about, try to loop it back around and end up with a different point or story altogether) but....I was a perfect child. If not completely perfect....I WAS PRETTY CLOSE! I required one reprimand, never lied, and seldom attempted to break any rules. I have pretty much made up for this in my adulthood so I guess everything evens out in the end. With this in mind, I anticipate my Evil Genius being a VERY BORING adult, perhaps even just a regular genius (perish the thought)! Anyhow, most of the time I talk about how much Iris is NOT like me but today I shall talk about the ways that I have noticed she IS like me.
In my life, I joke that I was handed down all of the traits that girls DON'T want from their father, from mine. I have short, stubby fingers; wide, flat feet; frizzy, curly hair (my dad continues to keep his hair short like when he was in the Marines 30+ years ago so this type of hair is fine on him. *Semper Fi!*); and an.....ample posterior (also not noticeable on my dad but bad for me). Traits from my mother that I did not receive were straight hair; long, slender, "piano-player" fingers; and the "Hassinger bust". Thanks genetics! You got me good! Soooo.....what have I passed down to Iris? Well she appears to be tall for her age (+), which is not from me, but based on the fact that she is 4 and wearing 6/6X clothing, I am guessing she has inherited my metabolism (-) Boo! She also appears to have some rhythm, singing, and dancing ability so that she DEFINITELY did not inherit from me! It has been 4 years and I still haven't unpacked the "Skinner Box" so I guess the nature/nurture argument could be used for the rest of this blog but I will be providing other ways that Iris takes after me...
1. DRAMA!: She is a bit dramatic. She prefaces most stories with one of two statements 1) Mom, I have something horrible to tell you! or 2) Mom, do you know what would be AWESOME?! These statements can be anywhere on the "awesome-horrible experience spectrum". For instance, horrible could be anything from water splashing out of the bathtub to the other day when "Lizzi found a dead cat in the backyard" (it was a stray, if that makes anyone feel any better). Awesome could be anywhere from reading a book before bed to going on a vacation or play date....or out for ice cream. Quite honestly starting her statements with either of these phrases gives me no clue about the upcoming story. In my life you would notice this when I am telling a story and start it with "Oh my gosh! This is the funniest thing ever!" or just "OH MY GOSH!" and then I provide the disclaimer "sorry, this story isn't that great, I didn't mean to get your hopes up!" Always warn your audience or at least capture their attention momentarily! Iris has started using this skills already! Well done!
2. NO FILTER: So I often take Iris with me to the nursing home in order to expose her to people who are different from her and she tends to brighten everyone's day....on her good days. However, when I give her this "opportunity" I have to be prepared for the fact that she has NO FILTER....a trait she completely inherited from me. First of all, anytime she sees anyone over the age of about 50 she refers to the person as a "grandpa" or "grandma". This would be ok....IF SHE COULD WHISPER, but alas, she cannot! She has to explain to me (as if I have some difficulty comprehending age differences) when people are older. Example: In the store at about 60 dB, "Mom, look at that old grandma! She's old and buying stuff at the store. She's like 'Look at me. I'm a grandma!'!". Well done Iris! Way to draw attention. So when we go in the nursing home she expects to see older people but she wants to know exactly how old they are! Recently...Guy at nursing home: How old are you? Iris: I was three a few days ago but I am 4 now. How old are you? Guy: I'm 93 Iris: Whoa! That's a big number!
Boom! Well done Iris! As if a near centenarian isn't aware of their age/longevity (that was for you, Michael Weber ;-)! )!
Another concern of Iris's: Guys with long hair. At a regular Iris whisper level....JUST KIDDING, she doesn't whisper....she will say (while standing about 4 feet from an individual with longer hair) "Mom, is that a boy or a girl?" I will reply with "Boy", back to her "Why does he have long hair?", me: "because he wants to. Let it go Iris" Iris: "Boys don't have long hair, Mom, girls have long hair. He looks like a girl!" Me: "ENOUGH! LET IT GO! BOYS AND GIRLS CAN BOTH HAVE HAIR HOWEVER LONG THEY WANT!" *cue stares from random strangers while I lose my cool*
3. IMAGINARY ARGUMENTS: When I get in an argument with someone....they typically have NO IDEA. I have dated and broken up with guys that had no idea of neither our relationship nor my existence. I feel this is easier because I am actually very forgiving so I might as well not tell them EVERY time we are dating and breaking up! No point in making "perfect 7" sad and depressed! I also have conversations that never existed when I tell stories to other people. Example: "So then what I SHOULD HAVE said is.........She didn't have any right! Who does she think she is?! I should have told her what everyone thinks about her....that she is a......" I am actually amazing at these arguments because I do a lot of driving so I have PLENTY of commute time to assemble impenetrable points to fling back at someone at a moment's notice! I have never actually used these amazing lines on people but maybe someday I will and they will stand and stare at me with a new respect (RIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTTT!!!!) Apparently this trait is dominant! Iris and I had a "discussion" the other day about who was the boss and who actually decided whether or not she was taking a bath. As I walk past the bathroom door I can hear Iris "re-enacting" the discussion with me! "Oh yeah? Well I am the boss! I AM NOT taking a bath! YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS!" Well played, Iris. Well played!
4. CALORIC INTAKE: While I sat here typing this I smell the scent of peanut butter and look over at Iris watching tv, eating peanut butter from the container, with a spoon. She may or may not have seen me do this, uh how ELSE am I expected to get my protein?! I also fell asleep in a chair a couple weeks ago and woke up to a wonderful smell. After verifying that I did appear to be alive and in my own home and not some Candy Land Heaven or Diabetic fantasy, I looked around to see what the smell was and see a particular Evil Genius COATED in vanilla frosting! I was instantly irritated but I felt that if given the chance I would probably want to do that as well! Iris and I kind of live by the saying "nothing in moderation"....oops! If you are going to do something....do it BIG! Really? Peanut butter on a piece of bread? Frosting on a cookie, graham cracker or even spoon......ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz! Oh sorry! I fell asleep! BORING! That's what tablespoons and bendable digits on our hands are for! You only live once and no one has ever been on their death bed and said "I wish I hadn't eaten so much frosting!"....at least no one I know has!
5. CRAZY HAIR!: Oh me! Oh my! I thought I'd die! In case you didn't recognize that line...there is a book aptly named "Crazy Hair" and that is at the beginning of the story/poem. I am pretty excited that NO ONE ever has to question who Iris's mom is when we are out. It actually gets a little awkward for people....awkward look at me, then Iris...."oh, I, uh, see where she got her.....curly hair from." Oh really, lady who can't play off the fact that she was thinking "frizzy and unruly"? Can you? Weird! Is it really the hair? Or even the pasty white skin tone, the red hair? Difficult to narrow it down really! I don't even have Iris do her hair in the mornings, for the most part, because I DO put effort into my hair and it doesn't really look that much better than hers! I love that I can be just like MY mom 28 years ago and just go absolutely apes@#% on Iris's head with a hairbrush! Ow! Ouch! Mom, that hurts! Uh.....yeah! I KNOW! BEEN THERE! Beauty is pain, Iris! It will do you good to learn this life lesson early! Also, having a parent declare full out war on your sensitive scalp will certainly build character in the future! And possibly some psychological issues and perhaps even a concussion....but who's counting or getting a plus/delta chart set up?! Not this girl! Bring on the pain, Iris! Because as you will hear REPEATEDLY throughout your life....PEOPLE PAY BIG MONEY FOR HAIR LIKE OURS!
6. CLUMSY!: Ok, if you have ever seen me in public and said my name and I didn't respond it was probably because I am pretty sure that anytime I take my attention off of what I am doing or where I am going I will certainly fall down steps, run into something, spill something, gain a bruise or visible mark, or inflict some other type of bodily harm to myself. DOMINANT! I have seriously stopped saying things like "Be careful!" and "Watch what you are doing!" to Iris because I might as well just throw stuff around on the floor or break items the second those words are uttered out of my mouth! I have actually now had to start using, "Hmmmm, that's weird! It's almost like I warned you about that happening! Do you understand why I said that now! Maybe you should listen to Mommy!" I kind of feel bad because I am certain that SOME of the accidents are actual accidents but if she would just concentrate a little bit she could prevent this! I have to concentrate on not falling, spilling, slipping, breaking, running into, and bruising all the time and it is time she learned to do the same!
7. Soulless: I want to be the perfect mom that many of my friends are but it really doesn't seem to fit with what my little Evil Genius responds to, so I, in fact, have to be a little cold and soulless. When Iris does something and says it is an accident I often respond with "I understand that it was an accident, but that doesn't exactly fix anything or make it ok does it? Didn't I warn you about that?" In response to a "sorry I let the dogs fight"...." Well Iris, 'I'm sorry' doesn't really put the Urgent Care co-pay back on my debit card does it? Nor does it fix the dogs who fought! I'm glad you're sorry but that's not helping right now is it?! I want you to listen in the first place! Then you don't have to be sorry!" I know! I am cruel, but it's frustrating! Anyhow, Iris has seemed to pick up this attitude and when she is around other kids she passes this loving kindness on! For instance, with small children "Would you like a cookie? Not until you say please!" or once when I asked someone to apologize to her."Mom, I don't think that was very loud! She didn't say sorry so I could hear it! Have her say it again but louder so I can hear it!" Well done tiny evil clone! In case some poor child's parent isn't being cruel and heartless enough to them to require a substantial amount of money be set aside for therapy in the future....WE HAVE YOU COVERED!
In closing, here is my advice to you....CHOOSE WISELY WHEN REPRODUCING! No seriously! I work in the schools! Not enough people think this through! You want your child to be far superior to you, right!? Well if you plan on being the main influence for them you had better prepare them genetically to be better than you! If Iris only had my traits we would probably both have bed sores now and her clothes would never match! Lucky for me her biological counterpart has the ability to be obsessive (in a way different from me, I am only obsessive with stalking, but not with anything useful ;-) True story!) and can throw a matching outfit together and accessorize! The future lies in your decision making! Be careful!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Living the dream....I taught her everything I know!!
Sorry there has been some time between blog posts but I got busy and couldn't think of anything I could write a full paragraph about....although if you work with me you will be shocked at this information because I can often make a 5 minute story last an entire lunch period (no exaggeration). The lunch story case is often because I get distracted and forget what I was talking about or even why I was telling the story....typically there is not a logical explanation for either of these but when I'm writing I try to stay a little more focused (don't laugh!). Also, I am not sure if anyone realizes the difference between me and my siblings as far as "living the dream" is concerned. While my siblings each live in areas that can be considered "cities" and may have a need for a store that is open 24 hours a day (Wal-Mart, Kroger's, Meijer's), I choose to live a simpler life. Iris and I live in a "village" that has 2 fast food establishments, 3 gas stations, 3 traffic lights, and a church at nearly every street corner. When we go in the grocery store, most of the checkout people refer to Iris by name and compliment her "original" outfit choices. I LOVE small town living and truly think we are "living the dream"... in a single parent household, in a two bedroom rental, with student loans and a car payment, working two jobs...with my checkbook in a chronically overdrawn state (but no, really!)*dramatic sigh*
So today's goal is to put together a few Iris stories that always make me think "Man! We really ARE living the dream!
1) This has been a pretty tough year as far as illnesses have gone and we were not immune to this. I was ill a few times and Iris had what may have started off as a flu-like sickness and then ended up as an ear infection. "Poor Iris", you may be thinking....well go ahead and stop thinking that! The girl was loving life! She had a little difficulty sleeping one night and woke up and threw up! I am frantically running around trying to clean up the floor and tend to her because I know how much I hate being sick, especially when my beloved sleep is interrupted. I get her downstairs and cleaned up, at which point she has woken up a little more and "come to". Once I get her settled back into bed she requests 'Can we call Grandma to tell her I threw up?". Uhhhh...NO! Not that my mom isn't completely used to being awoken during the night to non-important phone calls (though these are typically referred to as "drunk dials" and often do involve throwing up) but I thought this may seal the deal in me being the least favorite child if I breech her slumber with a play by play commentary of Evil Genius's vomit session! So I make Iris go back to sleep and wait until morning to call Grandma! She of course doesn't forget and wakes up completely gung-ho on calling my mom! What could this hurt?! Maybe she just wants sympathy! No! She calls my mom and gives her a description that I am pretty sure, with very little imagination, my mother could have practically relived the experience. She took the phone to the exact location to where she threw up and "showed" my mom what happened. As all grandmothers do (or at least in my opinion, SHOULD DO) my mom played along! "OH MY GOODNESS! RIGHT THERE?! ARE YOU OK NOW?! DO YOU FEEL BETTER?! MY POOR SWEET PEA!!!" This has since become a story she has shared with everyone in any instance she can think of! EVERYONE! I often have to smile and explain to random people that she is just telling them about an experience she had months ago and is no longer sick! Fear not! A kid who LOVES the flu?! Living the dream!
2) If you take note of the checkbook comment earlier you will assume we do not typically go on vacations....your assumption is correct. Our "big" vacations have consisted of visiting a friend in the state of Delaware for a few days. These are always amazing vacations (because my friend is a far better planner than me and has our weekend set up when we get there and Iris and I just follow along and experience the magic the the East has to provide!) If you don't always go on vacation you don't always get the fun "On Location" vacation pictures....but you can still get some awesome pics with "famous" characters! Move over Disney princesses....enter Fredrick's IGA! Iris has posed with the M&M display twice at IGA! She requests her picture be taken and then will even do multiple poses! Pose 1: Beside M&M Pose 2: BE the M&M and reach your arms around the sides of it! Thanks to the staff at IGA we are allowed to do this....I think that they have pretty much just accepted our eccentricity and moved on. I am SLIGHTLY concerned that we are turning into the family that people just kind of smile and nod politely at, and then quietly say to each other "Bless their hearts!".....but I am certain this is happening! We have also gathered souvenirs from these little "staycations". When we walk to the store, Iris will often find and collect small items along the way. Lately this has been pine cones. We will have multiple items in the bottom of the re-useable grocery bags we take with us. So by the time our groceries are bagged at the store the checkout lady often does a second glance in the bag and says something along the lines of "oh, goodness let me clean the out for you!" to which I quickly respond "oh, no! we found that stuff on the way here!" (as if that is an acceptable excuse) *Insert smile and nod* 45 minute (total including walking to and from) vacations to Fredrick's IGA in "downtown" Carey, Ohio (or would it be considered "downvillage"?).....LIVING THE DREAM!
3) Going out to dinner is kind of a treat for Iris and myself. Mostly because I don't have to put pressure on myself to do dishes (in order to have some clean to make a meal) and we get a little time out and about as the awesome mother-daughter pair we are! However, if you have ever met Iris/Evil Genius, you will realize that any place you go with her should probably serve some type of alcohol! Not just for me, but also for the servers and anyone in the tables around us. Iris has addressed this issue on her own and if I say "Let's go out to eat!" Iris will quickly respond with "Let's go to Carmie's and sit at the bar!" YAY! My mother of the year award is in the mail, I'm sure! Not only does my child know the word and meaning of "bar" but can name restaurants with a bar, and will tell me what she is getting....BEFORE WE GET THERE! When we do go in she is greeted by name! We are like a mother-daughter version of Norm at "Cheers" but Iris and Rachel at Carmie's! LIVING THE DREAM! *Side-note: We were at Jenis's Splendid Ice Cream in Powell, OH and Iris requested sitting at the bar there, as well, and promptly FELL OFF THE BAR STOOL! All of the actual bars we were at and she falls off one at an establishment with no alcohol (unless you count the whiskey and pecan ice cream)*
4) I have always had issues with my hair and it took me just shy of 30 years to come to terms with the curliness and fuzziness associated with it. Quite honestly, my hair is a complete reflection of my personality, though Iris will often look at me in the morning with complete seriousness and tell me "Mom, your hair looks a little....nervous today." So I have made it my parenting goal (or at least one of them) to make Iris love and appreciate her crazy hair! We regularly read the book "Crazy Hair" and do a daily fist pound (followed by "blowing it up" and bringing it down with fireworks) while saying "CURLS ROCK!" (and also "MERMAID!" or "PRINCESS"). Iris still does not want her hair brushed in the morning unless it can be braided (which I am unable to do) but I have given up on this by realizing that her hair doesn't look any worse than mine and I do put effort into my hair....ah well, such is life! I HAVE apparently given her some idea of the awesomeness of her hair though because a recent request from her has been to answer the question "Mom, which curl is your FAVORITE?" hmmmm....my favorite?! I am not sure! I have found, with time, that I actually DO have favorite curls! Iris does too! She tends to favor the ones that originate behind her ears and fall forward when she leans downward, whereas I prefer the ones that hang down her back in complete ringlets and just look like little tubes of red hair! Identifying your FAVORITE aspects of yourself and making others point them out as well rather than tearing yourself apart and finding things you don't like about yourself?! I think we could ALL learn something from this Evil Genius! LIVING THE DREAM!
Ok, so I got to 4 ways that Iris is living the dream and am running low on time to write more (Evil Genius will be up soon!) but I think it is showing that I have taught her everything that I know! I am going to try to be more consistent with my blogging because I will be hopefully having more free-time since school is out and therefore much more Iris-time, thus more "material"! Enjoy for now! If you have any requests for blogs based on something I have talked about previously, let me know! I never know if I am repeating myself or not. I also tend to think things that aren't funny ARE and vice versa! Iris has been pretty sassy lately though so hopefully I will be back soon! Harass me if I am not!
So today's goal is to put together a few Iris stories that always make me think "Man! We really ARE living the dream!
1) This has been a pretty tough year as far as illnesses have gone and we were not immune to this. I was ill a few times and Iris had what may have started off as a flu-like sickness and then ended up as an ear infection. "Poor Iris", you may be thinking....well go ahead and stop thinking that! The girl was loving life! She had a little difficulty sleeping one night and woke up and threw up! I am frantically running around trying to clean up the floor and tend to her because I know how much I hate being sick, especially when my beloved sleep is interrupted. I get her downstairs and cleaned up, at which point she has woken up a little more and "come to". Once I get her settled back into bed she requests 'Can we call Grandma to tell her I threw up?". Uhhhh...NO! Not that my mom isn't completely used to being awoken during the night to non-important phone calls (though these are typically referred to as "drunk dials" and often do involve throwing up) but I thought this may seal the deal in me being the least favorite child if I breech her slumber with a play by play commentary of Evil Genius's vomit session! So I make Iris go back to sleep and wait until morning to call Grandma! She of course doesn't forget and wakes up completely gung-ho on calling my mom! What could this hurt?! Maybe she just wants sympathy! No! She calls my mom and gives her a description that I am pretty sure, with very little imagination, my mother could have practically relived the experience. She took the phone to the exact location to where she threw up and "showed" my mom what happened. As all grandmothers do (or at least in my opinion, SHOULD DO) my mom played along! "OH MY GOODNESS! RIGHT THERE?! ARE YOU OK NOW?! DO YOU FEEL BETTER?! MY POOR SWEET PEA!!!" This has since become a story she has shared with everyone in any instance she can think of! EVERYONE! I often have to smile and explain to random people that she is just telling them about an experience she had months ago and is no longer sick! Fear not! A kid who LOVES the flu?! Living the dream!
2) If you take note of the checkbook comment earlier you will assume we do not typically go on vacations....your assumption is correct. Our "big" vacations have consisted of visiting a friend in the state of Delaware for a few days. These are always amazing vacations (because my friend is a far better planner than me and has our weekend set up when we get there and Iris and I just follow along and experience the magic the the East has to provide!) If you don't always go on vacation you don't always get the fun "On Location" vacation pictures....but you can still get some awesome pics with "famous" characters! Move over Disney princesses....enter Fredrick's IGA! Iris has posed with the M&M display twice at IGA! She requests her picture be taken and then will even do multiple poses! Pose 1: Beside M&M Pose 2: BE the M&M and reach your arms around the sides of it! Thanks to the staff at IGA we are allowed to do this....I think that they have pretty much just accepted our eccentricity and moved on. I am SLIGHTLY concerned that we are turning into the family that people just kind of smile and nod politely at, and then quietly say to each other "Bless their hearts!".....but I am certain this is happening! We have also gathered souvenirs from these little "staycations". When we walk to the store, Iris will often find and collect small items along the way. Lately this has been pine cones. We will have multiple items in the bottom of the re-useable grocery bags we take with us. So by the time our groceries are bagged at the store the checkout lady often does a second glance in the bag and says something along the lines of "oh, goodness let me clean the out for you!" to which I quickly respond "oh, no! we found that stuff on the way here!" (as if that is an acceptable excuse) *Insert smile and nod* 45 minute (total including walking to and from) vacations to Fredrick's IGA in "downtown" Carey, Ohio (or would it be considered "downvillage"?).....LIVING THE DREAM!
3) Going out to dinner is kind of a treat for Iris and myself. Mostly because I don't have to put pressure on myself to do dishes (in order to have some clean to make a meal) and we get a little time out and about as the awesome mother-daughter pair we are! However, if you have ever met Iris/Evil Genius, you will realize that any place you go with her should probably serve some type of alcohol! Not just for me, but also for the servers and anyone in the tables around us. Iris has addressed this issue on her own and if I say "Let's go out to eat!" Iris will quickly respond with "Let's go to Carmie's and sit at the bar!" YAY! My mother of the year award is in the mail, I'm sure! Not only does my child know the word and meaning of "bar" but can name restaurants with a bar, and will tell me what she is getting....BEFORE WE GET THERE! When we do go in she is greeted by name! We are like a mother-daughter version of Norm at "Cheers" but Iris and Rachel at Carmie's! LIVING THE DREAM! *Side-note: We were at Jenis's Splendid Ice Cream in Powell, OH and Iris requested sitting at the bar there, as well, and promptly FELL OFF THE BAR STOOL! All of the actual bars we were at and she falls off one at an establishment with no alcohol (unless you count the whiskey and pecan ice cream)*
4) I have always had issues with my hair and it took me just shy of 30 years to come to terms with the curliness and fuzziness associated with it. Quite honestly, my hair is a complete reflection of my personality, though Iris will often look at me in the morning with complete seriousness and tell me "Mom, your hair looks a little....nervous today." So I have made it my parenting goal (or at least one of them) to make Iris love and appreciate her crazy hair! We regularly read the book "Crazy Hair" and do a daily fist pound (followed by "blowing it up" and bringing it down with fireworks) while saying "CURLS ROCK!" (and also "MERMAID!" or "PRINCESS"). Iris still does not want her hair brushed in the morning unless it can be braided (which I am unable to do) but I have given up on this by realizing that her hair doesn't look any worse than mine and I do put effort into my hair....ah well, such is life! I HAVE apparently given her some idea of the awesomeness of her hair though because a recent request from her has been to answer the question "Mom, which curl is your FAVORITE?" hmmmm....my favorite?! I am not sure! I have found, with time, that I actually DO have favorite curls! Iris does too! She tends to favor the ones that originate behind her ears and fall forward when she leans downward, whereas I prefer the ones that hang down her back in complete ringlets and just look like little tubes of red hair! Identifying your FAVORITE aspects of yourself and making others point them out as well rather than tearing yourself apart and finding things you don't like about yourself?! I think we could ALL learn something from this Evil Genius! LIVING THE DREAM!
Ok, so I got to 4 ways that Iris is living the dream and am running low on time to write more (Evil Genius will be up soon!) but I think it is showing that I have taught her everything that I know! I am going to try to be more consistent with my blogging because I will be hopefully having more free-time since school is out and therefore much more Iris-time, thus more "material"! Enjoy for now! If you have any requests for blogs based on something I have talked about previously, let me know! I never know if I am repeating myself or not. I also tend to think things that aren't funny ARE and vice versa! Iris has been pretty sassy lately though so hopefully I will be back soon! Harass me if I am not!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Iris means "dainty" in another language.....or at least it should
So I am not sure if I mentioned this before or not but when I was pregnant I had vision of a delicate, blue-eyed bundle of chubby baby that grew into a sweet little girl who would sit in her bed and patiently listen as I read her a book, then we would say bedtime prayers, I would kiss her head tell her I love her and she would drift blissfully off to sleep. Looking ahead 4 years (I was technically pregnant this time 4 years ago) that's pretty much what I got....with the exception of the delicate part and the patient part...and the sleeping in her own bed part....oh hell, she's a girl with blue eyes, close enough! We do a lot of driving in a day. Iris and I have a half hour drive a couple mornings a week to go to work/school and then one day a week we have a half hour to ballet and a half hour drive home. I would assume this would lead to some quality bonding time, or perhaps we could hang out in the car and sing some really awesome kidz bop songs together, tell stories about our day or just drive quietly. Well you know what "they" say about assuming...and such is the case this time. We listen to such classic hits (or perhaps Iris originals) as "Row, Row, Row Your Poop", "Old McDonald Had a Poop" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Poop". Cute, huh! I was initially thinking that this would be a phase that maybe she would grow out of. No luck so far. As a matter of fact it may even be spreading. Iris also has a cute little thing she does in which she says "Mom, I have something for you...." and then comes over and kisses my cheek. Awwwwww! However, this has just been a ploy to lure me in. The last few times have involved her saying "Mom, I have something for you...." and then "tooting" on me or even saying something like "Hey, Mom! I wanna poop on your face!" Wow, Iris! As alluring as 2 girls, 1 sippy cup sounds, I think I'm gonna go ahead and pass on the having someone poop on my face offer! It's a risk I'm willing to take! Another classic Iris move in the car: "Mom, What is that smell?!" "Uh, I'm not sure, Iris. It might be one of the fields or maybe a farm." "No, Mom, it's my butt, I just tooted." (followed by maniacal laughing) "Oh, Good one, Iris! You really got me good that time!"
Sooooo....what are the odds of her outgrowing this phase? My guess is NOT LIKELY. Why? You ask. Well because I laugh at bathroom humor and have the sense of humor of a 7th grade boy. I pretty much find burps and farts funny. I may actually have to take some of the blame for her behavior. I'm going to make a confession that I don't often make. My initial hope was that I would have a boy when I was pregnant because I was certain I wouldn't be girlie enough for a princess-y girlie girl. Lucky for me I gave birth to a little girl who wears a tutu, wings, and a crown and then threatens to poop on my face. She's so dainty!
Sooooo....what are the odds of her outgrowing this phase? My guess is NOT LIKELY. Why? You ask. Well because I laugh at bathroom humor and have the sense of humor of a 7th grade boy. I pretty much find burps and farts funny. I may actually have to take some of the blame for her behavior. I'm going to make a confession that I don't often make. My initial hope was that I would have a boy when I was pregnant because I was certain I wouldn't be girlie enough for a princess-y girlie girl. Lucky for me I gave birth to a little girl who wears a tutu, wings, and a crown and then threatens to poop on my face. She's so dainty!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)