F@%#ING RULES!

So Iris is halfway through her first year of preschool.  She is apparently amazing there...not intelligence wise...she's pretty average in that respect, and almost, dare I say, SHY.  She loves going and seems to be making friends but I have one ongoing fear about exposing her to my co-workers. She is an evil genius and longs to cuss like a sailor! I have already had co-workers spew their differing opinions on me regarding other life, child-rearing, and working choices, the last thing I need is for them to hear my Sweet Iris curse a blue streak when some little kid steals her toy! 
There are a few words that Iris believes are bad that really aren't, they just aren't "nice" (ex. stupid, dumb) and others that I don't feel are acceptable in any home (ex. gay (used as an insult), retarded, and any religious based curse) but apparently I wasn't specific enough about other words.  You would think that with a typical child you would be able to say "that's a bad word....don't say it again" and the issue would be handled.  The major fault of that statement is the word "typical".  Remember, my child is an evil genius.  She will clearly find a loophole in this rule.  Here's how she handles the situation. Typical conversation between Iris and myself:
Iris:  Mom, is shit a bad word?
Me: Yes
Iris: So can I say shit?
Me:  No, and you have already said it twice...you need to stop!
Iris:  Mom, so I am not allowed to say shit?  You say it.
Me:  Iris, can you go get me the soap? 
Iris:  I DON'T WANT MY MOUTH WASHED OUT!!!

So we already established that it was a bad word and she can't say it in regular speech.  Story over?  HARDLY!  On our way to school yesterday:
Iris:  Mom, is damn a bad word?
Me:  Yes
Iris:  But did the guy in the song just say "damn"?
Me:  Yes, he did
Iris:  So can I say damn if I'm singing it in a song?
Me: Uh, well you can say darn
Iris:  No, mom, I said can I sing damn in a song?
Me:  Ummmm, well I guess if it's just in this car and just in this song you can sing it.
Iris:  Mom, turn the song up louder.

Awesome, Cussy McCussalot!  You have turned me into THAT parent!  There goes my mother of the year award.  I have a three year old who now cusses in song but corrects me when I cuss....sadly it involves statements such as "Hey, Mom, you just said shit and shit is a bad word.  Say you're sorry for saying shit. Do you need your mouth washed out?"  No, Iris, as a matter of fact I don't need my mouth washed out.  I need to "Groundhog Day" the first few years of your life so I get this right next time.  At this point I think I may be in over my head and your cuteness is pretty much all that keeps me from dropping you off at a fire station or hospital (well the cuteness and the fact that that little window of opportunity shut itself shortly after she was born).

Overall, I don't think I really screwed her up too much!  I mean, sure, she cusses repeatedly, but I still think I'm a pretty kick ass mom!  Actually, I know I am....Iris told me so!