So I often consider whether or not I am living the life that Lady Gaga's mom did when she was nearly 3 years old. Let me explain....
1) Iris, or shall we say Lady EgEg, loves to perform! She will actually take any microphone or anything that looks like a microphone and put on shows. She sings about what's happening, she sings about what's not happening, sadly, these are all in the same verse so her "original" songs are a little hard to follow at times, but really, let's lower our expectations, she's 3.
2) She has a bit of an.....ecclectic taste in music. In started out trying to be supermom and have fun kids songs and cds. We listened to Laurie Berkner, Sandra Boynton, Ziggy Marley Family, BNL Snacktime, etc. but then Iris started listening to the radio. My last cd purchase for my sweet girl involved P!NK's Greatest Hits So Far, and Big Time Rush. She also listens to musicals (you should hear her sing "You don't know" from Next To Normal) and an Ohio State mix cd we have, she loves "Hang on Sloopy" but is sad and questions (EVERY TIME) why anyone would want to "put Sloopy down".
3) She has multiple performance venues! She will take "microphones", this includes, Rock Band accessories, brooms, hairbrushes, planting posts, anything really that appears to be on a stick into the upper level "fort" portion of her play area/swingset and set up her microphones to use while doing various dance moves. She movers her mics around to multiple places and sets them down to dangle from pieces of wood and pretend like she is going to go down the slide. I'm going to have to say that the entertainment factor is pretty high but our safety regulation is somewhat lacking. Instead of safety harnesses and fall nets for her performance as she is jumping, climbing and swinging she has an audience member (me) repeatedly interrupting her song with comments like "Do you think that's safe?" and "If you fall and hurt yourself I'm going to say 'I told you so'"....as long as you say it while your clapping and making requests, its all the same! She also will use the umbrella portion of her sand and sea table to swing around on (yeah, like a pole, clearly not a skill she has learned from me!) and use as a microphone while she is on the elevated (although not stable) sand and sea performance areas.
4) She has a backup singer! When her swing set/ play area was completed the person who built it for her placed a "Billy Bob Bass" in the tower as a house-warming present. She has since learned the repeated lines of "Take Me to the River" and "Don't Worry, Be Happy". She pushes the button and Voila! an instant backup singer! She doesn't want to sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" again? Perfect, push the button twice!
5) She's has "unconventional" methods of gaining attention during her "concerts". I was summoned to a concert the other day in which she was on the sand and sea table singing with the umbrella post and....NAKED! The performance continued on with various stories and songs while she patted wet, purple sand all over her legs, arms, and back....I imagined that this is a lot like what the fittings for the "meat dress" that Lady Gaga wore would have been like. Sadly, this performance had an encore presentation involving a bath, rather than an awards ceremony.
My fear now is whether or not I should give her pre-school teacher a fair warning for play time at school involving sand and sea tables and swing sets or if I should just leave the staff at school to fend for themselves and learn as they go like I had to! I can only take solace in the fact that her talents will leave her with the opportunity to pay off my student loans someday!
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