I genetically engineered an EVIL GENIUS!!!

So I have started ANOTHER blog!  Here's why...I will continue the scrapbooking one but I always feel that I have more stories about Iris and I can't always work them into the other blog.  Now that I am nearly on summer break I plan on updating both more regularly.  I got a little caught up with being busy at work and let the other blog slide....anyway.  I named this one "So Yesterday Iris...." because at work and when talking to others I often start my stories/conversations with that exact line.  Here are the rules of this blog for you, the reader:
1)  Don't copy my parenting style unless you already have an evil genius (my style may be too harsh and unsuitable for a sensitive child)
2) Don't judge me aloud...sure I may think that your parenting style is crap sometimes too but I keep it in my head!  Don't hate on me!   We can all get along and make different choices! 
3) Don't call Child Protective Services on me (that's a joke, but no, really...don't!)

Back to the topic at hand....I genetically engineered an evil genius!  First I have lessons that I have learned from this experience so I do recommend you talking to me before attempting to engineer your own evil genius!  "How do you do this?" you may ask....well here is how I did it...
1) Find a donor based on really insignificant reasons (if you're married or in a relationship and not using a donor, it's ok for you to skip this step).  You may try to think of really great reasons, feel free, but you may not have evil genius results, just an FYI.
2) Plant evil genius seed
3) Have healthy pregnancy!  This is the easy part, the migraines and sickness are actually quite tolerable at this point...because in just a few short months that dark quiet room you are nursing a migraine in will be the laboratory of your new E.G.!
4)  Give birth to E.G.!
5) Let E.G. be his or her own person!  Don't ever let E.G. know that ideas may not be possible or even really bad ideas.  You may also want to use this time to practice keeping a straight face and disguising your horror when E.G. starts talking!
6) Start developing your common responses.I like to stick with good words like That is AMAZING!  You are FANTASTIC!  PHENOMENAL! Are you KIDDING ME?!  and something easy like "WHAT?!" but change your intonation (Typical parents use these phrases too, I just like to change up words to be the ones I want E.G. to start using!)
7) Give E.G. a code name!  You can imagine the conversation you might have with someone you are hoping will babysit for you:
     Me: Hello *insert potential babysitter name*, would you like to babysit for my evil genius
     Former Potential Babysitter: *Dial Tone*
I use names for my child like "Sweet Iris", "Gorgeous Girl", or "Baby" (although in this case Baby IS, in fact, put in a corner sometimes!)
8) Tend to Evil Genius, provide food, shelter, and comfort to Evil Genius....this is ESSENTIAL!  Even Evil Geniuses (is that the plural!?) like to be appreciated and snuggled/cuddled!  They appear tough and sassy on the outside but secretly are huggers! 
9a)  Live it up!  You are the parent of an evil genius!
9b) Get a college fund started!  Evil Geniuses (again...should I be using a different plural form!?  I'll be damned if I look it up!) are world changers!  Get ready!
9c) Fold your hands every night and thank God for your evil genius!  Don't worry, he's cool with you using the word "evil" prior to genius....its all in good fun!  He is not confused and thinking your child is a member of the dark army....give him a little credit!  He's been there since the beginning!  He knows!

I will be updating the stories of my own little evil genius regularly for those of you who want to identify if you have your own evil genius!  Good luck! 

You're welcome!